george carlin politicians transcript

George Carlin - National Press Club May 19, 1999. Do you think its possible that one of these POLITICIANS whose judgment is so poor that he honestly thinks of himself as serving the Nation might occasionally be expected to indulge in little patriotism huh What do you think? Several reasons. Everybody says they suck. As for me, Ill be home on that day, doing essentially the same thing as you, the only difference is, when I get finished masturbating, Im going to have a little something to show for it folks. A clean place to live. He was regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comics of all time. No one has PROBLEMS anymore. 25l`|xs[e>L;}_}S +Fn-RWErk^7=fa,|~'RsiYK@"4W/:iVDrZWV)^:i\9KnwmVYi5v b^mfYN.[ T*gvIc"f=di^fE)SGO <>/MediaBox[0 0 612 792]/Parent 175 0 R/Resources<>/Font<>/ProcSet[/PDF/Text/ImageC]/XObject<>>>/Rotate 0/StructParents 0/Tabs/S/Type/Page>> In fact, it might be the thing that's making you unhappy. Carlin was noted for his black comedy and reflections on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. I have my ideas. <<76B7883B53B3B2110A00D082ECFCFC7F>]/Prev 777933>> When they're in trouble, their explanations usually begin simply with words like MISS-COMMUNICATION; QUESTION:WHAT DID YOU DO WRONG, SENATOR?POLITICIAN:WELL, IT WAS A MISS-COMMUNICATION. Michael Cooney was a speechwriter for @, George Carlin: 'Politicians don't actually say things, they INDICATE them', National Press Club - 1999. http://www.ravendevelopers.com/blog/2013/0 Bernie Sanders: 'So the next time you hear me attacked as a socialist, remember this', Georgetown University - 2015, Jimmy Carter: 'The threat is nearly invisible in ordinary ways. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. The only difference is, when I get finished masturbating, Im gunna have a little something to show for it, folks.. Local elections, special elections, and mid-terms, especially. Religion. They come from American parents, and American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses, and American universities. Better yet, and more ironic, 'THEY TWISTED MY WORDS.' George Carlin Discusses 'Silly Putty and Napalm' Aired June 08, 2001 - 21:00 ET. This country was bought and sold and paid for a long time ago. Everybody says they suck. Two reasons. You, and I, are not in the big club. So put down your phone, step away from the computer, and go out into the world. He is widely regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comics; one newspaper called Carlin "the dean of counterculture comedians". Good honest hard-working people continue, these are people of modest means, continue to elect these rich cock suckers who dont give a fuck about you.they dont give a fuck about you they dont give a FUCK about you. You know, in the old days, if you wanted to share your opinion with someone, you had to look them in the eye and say it to their face. While breaking down these claims on political correctness, Carlin implements his own set of values. So, the next time you're walking around looking at your phone, tweeting and Instagramming and Facebooking, just remember this: you're not living in the real world, you're living in the digital world. Everybody says they suck. All day long beating you over the head with their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American stand-up comedian, actor, author, and social critic. It's clearly a padded list. Follow the link for the full transcript, its worth it, but here are a few choice excerpts: When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. This is the best we can do, folks. Well, if you ask me, it's more like the land of the self-obsessed and the home of the vain. So my advice is this: put down your phone, go outside, and actually live your life. Full transcript of George Carlin's "Dumb Americans," excerpted from "Life is Worth Losing, his 13th live comedy stand-up special, performed at the Beacon Theatre in New York City for HBO. Carlin took a liberal stance on most things, but generally found politics and politicians corrupt and ridiculous. It's like, 'Hey, look at me, I'm having a good time. [187 0 R 188 0 R 189 0 R 190 0 R 191 0 R 192 0 R 193 0 R] 01. Yeah the public sucks. I just wanna put this thing behind me and get on with my life (CLAPS, LAUGHS). But here's the thing: you don't need social media to be happy. I think I have done that bit', BAFTA acceptance, Leading Actress - 2019, Axel Scheffler: 'The book wasn't called 'No Room on the Broom! Forget the politicians. [wptabtitle]@Shoq[/wptabtitle][wptabcontent][twitter-feed username=shoq mode=feed id=323150247956193281][/wptabcontent] [wptabs style=wpui-mre-basic mode=horizontal background=false] George Carlin: How you doing? First of all, its meaningless. The table has tilted folks. And term-limits aint going to do you any good. They want it back so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street, and you know something? Here's a transcript of a segment where he talks about it: "Social media, what a crock of shit that is. endobj So, next time you're scrolling through your feeds, ask yourself: 'Is this really connecting me with people, or is it just making me more disconnected and isolated?' (LAUGHS). 0000003516 00000 n Theyll get it all from you sooner or later cause they own this fucking place! He missed this one. Then share it far and wide with the little green button. And secondly, I dont vote because I believe if you vote you have no right to complain. If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. 0000002288 00000 n I do not own this video. They own all the important land. In fact at this point he might even say: POLITICIAN:I'M WILLING TO TRUST IN THE FAIRNESS OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. 0000001936 00000 n Update this biography 0000003901 00000 n We could see through the hypocracy and illogic of our parents and teachers, but because of our age and size we couldn't do anything about it. George Carlin was born and raised in Manhattan, New York in 1937 and died in Santa Monica, California in 2008. And the more noise there is, the harder it is to hear anything worth listening to. His satirical comments and relentless attacking a damaged system that unfairly trounced on the rights of its . To avoid redundancy in the comments section, we kindly ask /u/arkreder to respond to this comment with the prompt you used to generate the output in this post, so that others may also try it out. Then you're just what they're looking for. Not in the abstract they don't. 203 0 obj And not that you can help it, I mean the problem is really with the people you cover. And then, maybe, put down your phone and go have an actual conversation with someone. Nobody seems to care! Just a thought.". They dont want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking. Subreddit to discuss about ChatGPT. But social media is just a symptom of our narcissistic, attention-deficit culture. 0000015151 00000 n From people in all walks of life usually the person in question who has committed some unspeakable act. Oh boy. v. Pacifica Foundation, in which a 54 decision affirmed the government's power to regulate indecent material on the public airwaves. That's always a nice touch, American people. In particular it's fun to listen to Washington talk. Now hes on the side of law and order, jiu jitsu really: POLITICIAN:WE'RE TRYING TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS SO WE CAN GET THE FACTS OUT TO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. They dont pass through a membrane from some other reality. 0 [/wptabs]. George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American comedian, actor, author, and social critic. The politicians, the celebrities, and the lawyers, and although their level of insincerity is astonishing, it's still kinda fun to hear them talk. And the problem is, we're comparing our real lives to other people's highlight reels. Personally, I think we still need to hoist our fannies perpendicular and hike ourselves to the ballet box for all elections. George Carlin on why he likes disasters and people under pressure, and why the planet is doin' just fine. Such a nice touch. Their own habitat. Everybody complains about politicians. Carlin left a wealth of social, political, and religious commentaryand most of it was highly critical. endobj So, that I can continue my work in Government. They want obedient workers. They dont fall out of the sky. % (LAUGHS). Well where do people think these politicians come from? But wheres the logic in that? I think what we really need more of is ritual suicide, you know. He was born May 12, 1937, in New York City into an Irish Catholic family, but he rejected the faith. And we've only been engaged in heavy industry for a little over two hundred years. (6K"F;nyV-()*bt3QgsX;a\IC'h%7. So, I have solved this little political dilemma for myself in a very simple way. Theyve long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the state houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. I always thought it was kind of funny and someone out of character for a POLITICIAN to go out of his way to point out the low level of American intelligence (LAUGHS), when indeed his very job depends upon it. Everybodys at the mall scratching his ass, picking his nose, taking out his credit card out of a fannie-pack, and buying a pair of sneakers with lights in them. That somehow we're gonna put in jeopardy this beautiful little blue-green ball that's just a-floatin' around the sun? 0000001412 00000 n They dont want that! Here it is: Why are there ten? Now normally during peace times the politician would refer to people in the military as: POLITICIAN:OUR YOUNG MEN AND WOMEN STATIONED AROUND THE WORLD. This shit they shuffle around every four years? Theyll get it. <>/Border[0 0 0]/Contents( M o n t c l a i r S t a t e U n i v e r s i t y \n D i g i t a l C o m m o n s)/Rect[308.9844 674.625 540.0 693.375]/StructParent 1/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> . You crowned us', by Toni Morrison - 1988, for Michael Gordon: '13 days ago my Dads big, beautiful, generous heart suddenly stopped beating', by Scott and Sarah Gordon - 2018, Tara Westover: 'Your avatar isn't real, it isn't terribly far from a lie', The Un-Instagrammable Self, Northeastern University - 2019, Tim Minchin: 'Being an artist requires massive reserves of self-belief', WAAPA - 2019, Atul Gawande: 'Curiosity and What Equality Really Means', UCLA Medical School - 2018, Abby Wambach: 'We are the wolves', Barnard College - 2018, Eric Idle: 'America is 300 million people all walking in the same direction, singing 'I Did It My Way'', Whitman College - 2013, Shirley Chisholm: ;America has gone to sleep', Greenfield High School - 1983, Joe Marler: 'Get back on the horse', Harlequins v Bath pre game interview - 2019, Ray Lewis : 'The greatest pain of my life is the reason I'm standing here today', 52 Cards -, Mel Jones: 'If she was Bradman on the field, she was definitely Keith Miller off the field', Betty Wilson's induction into Australian Cricket Hall of Fame - 2017, Jeff Thomson: 'Its all those people that help you as kids', Hall of Fame - 2016, Dan Angelucci: 'The Best (Best Man) Speech of all time', for Don and Katherine - 2019, Hallerman Sisters: 'Oh sister now we have to let you gooooo!' The Secret News (News ticker sound effect), Type out all lyrics, even repeating song parts like the chorus, Lyrics should be broken down into individual lines. You enjoy yourselves; itll be a lot of fun. they're always PROCEEDING or moving forward. Garbage out. I think the list of commandments was deliberately and artificially inflated to get it up to ten. Im sure as soon as the election is over, your country will improve immediately. Maybe two hundred thousand? (Yes, I know, the USS America is a humongous, gargantuan behemoth, and the rudder very, very, very small, but we can still make it sloooowly turn to a certain general heading if we all pile our [intelligent] votes in the wheelhouse. <>/Border[0 0 0]/Contents(English Language and Literature Commons)/Rect[137.2383 212.4906 328.3613 224.2094]/StructParent 5/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> Whatever happened WellWell he's about to find out! Because that's where real communication happens, folks. A person who routinely spends his days torturing the language complains; POLITICIAN:THEY TWISTED MY WORDS. He was known for his black comedy and reflections on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and taboo subjects. Yeah, let's share our every thought and feeling with the entire world, because that's what we need, more information. Sure, there's some good stuff on there, but it's mostly just people filming themselves doing stupid things and hoping to go viral. Dst7cSE99`YpOqBp@&+69ykl95-! We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. And of course, they're all looking for that dopamine hit of getting likes and comments from people who agree with them. Carlin is usually spot on. << /Length 5 0 R /Filter /FlateDecode >> Now having somewhat successfully established my Press credentials and because you and I have at-least one thing in common which is that all of us deal with language all the time, I thought it might be nice today for me to come to you with some of my language complaints, certainly not to blame them on you, although off-course youre implicated. He said: Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. But first thing the next morning, I became a sun-worshipper. %PDF-1.7 % Now theres one thing you mighta noticed I dont complain about: politicians. We're so obsessed with ourselves and our own little worlds that we can't even have a real conversation or a meaningful interaction with someone without checking our phones every five minutes. I'm tired of fucking Earth Day, I'm tired of these self-righteous environmentalists, these white, bourgeois liberals who think the only thing wrong with this country is there aren't enough bicycle paths. Transcribed part of speech begins at 10.33, 13 May 1999, National Press Club, Washington DC, USA. So, maybemaybemaybe its not the politicians who suck. Some parents deserve respect. George Carlins daughter, @kelly_carlin, on her first radio show with guest Paul Provenza, talking about this routine. They are us', Address to Parliament following Christchurch massacre - 2019, Dolores Ibrruri: "No Pasarn!, They shall not pass! (LAUGHS) PROCEEDING. <>/Metadata 181 0 R/Outlines 136 0 R/Pages 174 0 R/StructTreeRoot 145 0 R/Type/Catalog/ViewerPreferences<>>> Then watch the video. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, Use the actual ChatGPT bot (not GPT-3 models) for all your conversational needs, Try out the powerful GPT-3 bot (no jailbreaks required for this one), Generate unique and stunning images using our AI art bot, Chat with the BING Chat bot and see what it can come up with (new and improved! Save the planet, we don't even know how to take care of ourselves yet. George Carlin Politicians : Choosing Life or Death in Capitalist America.. George Carlin Politicians youtu.be. They're worried that some day in the future, they might be personally inconvenienced. 0000001596 00000 n Maher is a liberal who has endorsed at least the last two Democratic presidential candidates. <>/Border[0 0 0]/Contents()/Rect[72.0 612.5547 302.8926 625.4453]/StructParent 3/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but Ill tell you what they dont want: They dont want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. I dont always agree with everything he says, but I always listen. The late George Carlin was a genius with words, a deft dasher of conventional logic, and a master observer (and master-baiter!) Not affiliated with OpenAI. George Carlin: Life Is Worth Losing - English Transcript. As for me, Ill be home on that day, doing essentially the same thing as you. Thats right. "In America, anyone can become president. 190 0 obj It's supposed to connect you with other people, but it's just a way of avoiding real human contact. Such as the PROCESS: POLITICIAN:WE HAVE TO MOVE THE PROCESS FORWARD SO WE CAN IMPLEMENT THE PROVISIONS OF THE INITIATIVE IN ORDER TO MEET THESE CHALLENGES. George Carlin was one of the most well-known and beloved comedians of all time. But marital fidelity is a good idea, so I suggest we keep the idea and call this commandment "Thou shalt not be unfaithful." They're your 'likes'. To learn more, check out our transcription guide or visit our transcribers forum, Comedian George Carlins take on The Ten Commandments. Who in fact did not even leave the house on election-day, am in no way responsible for what these people have done, and have every RIGHT to complain as loud as I want, about the mess YOU created, that I had nothing to do with. Sure, here's a transcript of George Carlin's routine about social media: "Social media. You enjoy yourselves. You know what they want? Search. Here's a transcript of a segment where he talks about it: "Social media, what a crock of shit that is. George Carlin: Dumb Americans. George Carlin Interview Transcription: George Carlin: This is George Carlin. They'll get it all from you sooner or later 'cause they own this f**kin' place. I on the other hand, who did not vote, WHO DID NOT VOTE. We're addicted to the attention, the likes, the validation. Narrow, unenlightened self-interest doesn't impress me. They want your retirement money. And we've all bought into it. The only part I would take with a block of salt is the last in which he explains why he doesnt vote. So Ive made what i hope is a more readable version below, so this classic piece of polemical gold can be shared and understood more widely. George Carlin. You got people spouting their opinions left and right, like they're some kind of expert on the subject. George Carlin. Everybody says they suck. That's why we need people who can make the TOUGH DECISIONS. Hi speech lovers,With costs of hosting website and podcast, this labour of love has become a difficult financial proposition in recent times. As a lifelong stand-up comedian, Carlin had a lot of opportunities to speak his mindand religion and politics were two of his favorite subjects. His parents split up when he was an infant because his . They're your contacts. However, he calls himself an apatheist (meaning that he's an atheist who doesn't care about the topic). For added emotional impact sons and daughters can always be substituted for men and women and so I think we can sum this up. THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. They OWN YOU. It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control people's language with strict codes and rigid rules. (LAUGHS), so instead they ADDRESS the PROBLEM (LAUGHS). But theres a reason. You wanna know what a friend is? ), Stay up to date with the latest Digital Ants Network (DAN) versions in our channel, All of these features are available at no cost to you. Watching the video and reading the transcript are, interestingly, two different experiences. Marc Allan: Oh, okay, good. However, most of his bile was reserved for conservatives and Republicans. Video Transcript - In Defense of Politicians (George Carlin, 1996) "Now there's one thing you mighta noticed I don't complain about: politicians. Not in the abstract they don't. And just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shitty jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits, the end of overtime and vanishing pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it, and now theyre coming for your Social Security money. If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people and they get into office and screw everything up, well, you are responsible for what they have done. m o n t c l a i r . Been through all kinds of things worse than us. But really, they're just regurgitating whatever they heard on cable news or read on some clickbait website. everybody complains about politicians. Been here four and a half billion years. You have no right to complain. Do you? 193 0 obj I, on the other handwho did not votewho did not votewho, in fact, did not even leave the house on Election Day, am in no way responsible for what these people have done and have every right to complain as loud as I want about the mess you created that I had nothing to do with. Maybe something else sucks around here. 0000002803 00000 n See they dont READ they REVIEW, they dont have OPINIONS they take POSITIONS, and they dont give ADVISE they make RECOMMENDATIONS. They are irrelevant. And nobody seems to notice. %%EOF Funny, Humor, Beer. I'm getting tired of that shit. The planet is fine. Politicians have traditionally hidden behind three things, the flag, the Bible and children. Whenever the issue of term limits comes up, I always tell people the only term limits I'm interested in would be to limit some of the terms used by politicians. I mean, have you ever looked at people's Facebook or Instagram profiles? So, it may seem like stand-up comedy, but I suspect Carlin is deadly serious. But, listen to Georges delivery in the video and it comes across much more as stand-up humor. These are the websites where people go to express themselves, right? Carlin was not unique in that he saw through the thick layers of societal propaganda and rhetoric that are the source of many of the worlds problemsand let it be known that, despite his liberal stance on most social issues, he would point out their hypocrisies as wellbut he was well-respected and well-spoken enough to have left an impression on American thinking and history. endobj Are these fucking people kidding me? But he wasn't always a . We dont have people like that in this country. Hendra, a writer and comedian, talks with Rebecca . They dont pass through a membrane from another reality. Dog, Cat, Thinking. And so, a long last after each has RESPONDED to the others INITIATIVES and each has REVIEWED the others RESPONSES and everyone has taken a POSITION made a JUDGMENT and offered a RECOMMENDATION. NOW they have to do something! "No child left behind. Fuck em. 0000053233 00000 n Well, where do people think these politicians come from? George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) POLITICIAN:I ADVISED HIM THAT I HAD MADE A JUDGMENT. Nobody cares. I don't like euphemisms, or euphemistic language. 9 minutes; 13,650 views; May 13, 1999 I say that where the military is concern the extent of a POLITICIANS insincerity can be measured by how far around the world our soldiers are stationed and whether or not any of them(POLITICIANS) can pronounce it? People post pictures of themselves and their lives, trying to create a narrative that they're happy, successful, and popular. 186 0 obj Transcript. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); All photographs on this website (unless otherwise indicated) were created by and are the property of Daniel R. Joder and may not be used for any purpose without permission. 4 0 obj Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. Comedian George Carlin, who died Sunday of heart failure at 71, was known for an act featuring "seven dirty words" that became the focus of a Supreme Court case. Quick Guide. It's like they're saying, 'Look at me, look at me! You and I are not in the big club. Well, we know what they want. We could see through the hypocracy and illogic of our parents and teachers, but because of our age and size we couldn't do anything about it. And that certain sign that things are closing in: POLITICIAN:WHATEVER HAPPENED TO INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY (LAUGHS). They're your followers. Reading the text, it sounds like a reasonably serious essaywell, sort of. New episode of the podcast is terrific. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Well, where do people think these politicians come from? Complete biography of George Carlin . Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web! They dont want people who are smart enough to sit around a kitchen table and think about how badly theyre getting fucked by a system that threw them overboard 30 fucking years ago. Likethe public. Lee did not involve himself formally in politics, but he was a symbol of diversity and the synthesis of "East" and "West." This is an incomplete transcript made by Raven Developers. And there you have it, a transcript of George Carlin's take on social media. All rights reserved. George Carlin was known for his insightful and humorous observations on modern society, including his thoughts on social media. I don't words that conceal reality. Power, Politics & American Sports [transcript] [VIDEO CLIP] Jesse Owens: To me, politics has no part to play on the field of strife of . But, he is wrong here. POLITICIAN:WHEN HE RESPONDS TO MY INITIATIVE, I WILL REVIEW HIS RESPONSE, TAKE A POSITION AND MAKE A RECOMMENDATION. On Election Day, I stay home. trailer They're a digital petting zoo. Besides, there is nothing wrong with the planet. And they're all looking for that instant gratification of likes and followers, like it's some kind of digital high-five. Oh, I gotta share this with my friends, you know what you should do? Copyright 2017 iComedyTV.com. It goes WAY beyond his famous Seven Words You Cant Say on Television (also classic). You have no choice! Carlin is funny as hell. As I say, they're my work, they're my play, they're my passion. endobj CHALLENGES! 124 Copy quote. These people on social media, they're not your friends. I'VE FAITH IN THE AMERICAN JUDICIAL SYSTEM. This is the best we can do folks. It's all just noise. TOUGH DECISIONS like: POLITICIAN (PLANNING):HOW MUCH SOFT MONEY CAN I EXPECT TO COLLECT IN EXCHANGE FOR MY CORE VALUES? That's the problem in this country too many people getting on with their lives. x\}_nK '!oF+$SW9E fX{]YTUOm9qhSO+_7L|*kqyHUwor}=qgw;WnrG7no8G*w6a2Uq K|CQWO_nT]}wbvASBT=tE.t6C}qC)onmg2uAWq|9xLSg I have a problem with the Ten Commandments. Given the nature of our current Administration, I thought it timely to revisit what George said years ago (Back In Town HBO Special, 1996) about American politicians and the American people who elect them. https://www.scripts.com/writer/george_carlin/6024. GEORGE CARLIN: I want to tell you something about words that I think is important. Tired of that shit. Well off-course not only is it possible its inevitable and thats when he's at his very best and that's when he trots out the really good stuff. Compared to the people, the planet is doing great. George Carlin does not need my platitudes, but I will still proffer them. According to Carlin, religion is one of humanitys greatest swindles and created nothing but lies, conflict, and suffering. It's always the whole thing.