We've been together 9. We are deciding if we should divorce now or later when she is bigger. It's not that they don't want to. And which case, most would be use safe sex and if thy got pregnant, they would try for an abortion. SCENARIO 1: STAY WITH HER BECUASE SHE IS PREGNANT (THIS IS THE FOUNDATION OF THE RELATIONSHIP). It may be tolerable now, but it sounds like you are unhappy. If you feel a message or content violates these standards and would like to request its removal please submit the following information and our moderating team will respond shortly. An increasing number of South Korean women are choosing not to marry, not to have children, and not even to have relationships with men. I don't know what I'm asking for, I'm just venting at the moment. You have to remember you are only going to be a victim for as long as you allow yourself to be one. Would I do it again? He's not in love so he's selfish??? I would be too miserable too even think of looking at other women. But I want to be a father. With the lowest fertility rate in the . Create an account or log in to participate. It tears me apart. I honestly could not ever think of missing out on this child's growing up, especially the early stages. On the most basic level, these changes, prompted by a flood of hormones during pregnancy and in the postpartum period, help attract a new mother to her baby. Everyone has their reasons for doing things and it's not up to us to judge them. I don't want to burden her with any of this, especially now that she needs to be calm and feel secure. I got pregnant and was pressured to get married. In the workplace, women with youthful faces are often more successfuland make solid leaders.On the other hand, though, some baby-faced women get passed overfor challenging tasks and leadership roles. Rejecting your man's baby mama is almost the same as rejecting your boyfriend's child and you don't want to do that. A Group Owner is a member that has initiated the creation of a group to connect with other members to share their journey through the same pregnancy & baby stages. My only advice is to make sure you don't make your or your wife or your baby's life miserable. Americans love coffee. Also, don't give her a dime of your money towards the baby until you find out if it's yours. I mean really a woman gets pregnant with your child and there are no options but to marry her? Rightfully so! Don't marry someone you don't love. Download Preview. You wouldn't happen to be burning a bra right about now would you? the repercussions and consequences of such an act always plays out. there will be hatred, resentment, and misery. And the best way to do it is to proof to anyone that this version of you is so much better than you were. Just not with her. Im in the exact same boat man. This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply. Will the feeling of disconnection to this baby ever go away? Adoption is for some people who want to unselfishly make sure the child is cared for and loved by people who can support it just like toughing it out and having the child, supporting it, and loving it is for others. He is a grown up. My father married my mother when she became pregnant times were different then of course. Does the father know? Please select a reason for escalating this post to the WTE moderators: Connect with our community members by starting a discussion. I would say take a step back and analyze why you are not connecting with him and see if things could be different if you two had some changes. No one can tell you what to do, we all have different stories. I have read many times that people say don't make any major changes in the baby's first year of life. We are two total opposite people. Women, in particular, have a growing awareness of the benefits of having babies when they're ready and not having more than they can provide for. Second thing that you can do after having a baby with someone you don't want to be with, how to deal with it is to be responsible. YOU GOT THIS! When One Partner Doesn't Want a Baby - Parents Do i tell my boyfriend i slept with someone else during short break up? When Mothers Don't Bond With Their Daughters - Psychology Today Obviously she is going to get custody if we split up. LoveDevani is an independent website. I want to leave my 4 months pregnant girlfriend !! Asking why you had sex with her in the first place wont solve this problem cos its everywhere in our societies and its just unfortunate your hit and run opportunity couldnt worked out. You had the intention to be with someone for fun without taking the consequences seriously. Right now her parents are planning to bring her over to my house. The longer you stay with him the more he's going to think you do have feelings for him and it will only hurt him more in the end. Yes, you can still be happy in a relationship without being married. Either stay or get off the pot but be careful how you play this. 1.) Love and Pregnancy: Can a Baby Save Your Struggling Relationship? - Parents You could have an easy pregnancy, a quick easy delivery and a healthy happy baby. Is she shaka Zulu or she is not attracted to u?? We found out. Best wishes for a lifetime of happiness. Girlfriend Brokeup while pregnant. I want to come home from work to my son EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK, but I can't if me and the mother aren't together. I wish I wasn't pregnant by him. He's not all bad. We literally virtually broke up the night before! Steve. I don't know how I can be a great weekend father. 24 big signs a man wants to have a baby with you - Ideapod Everyone has their reasons for doing things and it's not up to us to judge them. My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. We respect everyones right to express their thoughts and opinions as long as they remain respectful of other community members, and meet What to Expects Terms of Use. Man and Woman Making Love in Bed. Girl Isits on Her Partner, He Turning Being pregnant is not a free pass for not working. He will probably try to then use the baby against you. I do not know the answer to that. Good one boys real mature!! All i will advice him to do is to sit the girl in question down and talk to her in a matured way. Only good thing that came out of it are my children. What was even worst she call me two days later to ask me if I could pick her up and I did. Sorry for the long story, but I wanted to give you an example of how the other side of things could go. Mothers who regret having children are speaking up like - Macleans.ca Unless your girlfriend deems fine that you both do not continue the relationship, by all means.". I do have family but financially they can't help me or buy me a car bc he would be petty enough to keep the one he got me, it's under his name, I don't have anywhere to go or any Finances since I quit my job moving in with him. To allow yourself to stay in a toxic relationship will be useless. It would not work out for you or for her. Your bodies will fit together perfectly. I My ex-girlfriend is pregnant. When we found out this baby is a boy, the feeling of disconnection multiplied; I know this baby is going to be like his daddy. bcus a womens cry n tongue is very sharp. Not that it matters - if you have feelings for someone else, you can't be in love with your gf so sounds like leaving is the right decision, as staying together for a child with someone you don't love never works out in the long run. And 3 children. Immerse yourself in nature. 'Why I never want babies' - BBC News Now she's pregnant. I must contain all this and somehow manage it thus minimizing any possible damage. You could be the best, healthiest, most well adjusted person. YES PRO-LIFE HOWEVER THINK ABOUT IT THIS WAY COULD YOU PROVIDE THE BEST FOR THE CHILD? It's no one else's responsibility to support you. Note that once you confirm, this action cannot be undone. We didn't have to be. Having a baby with someone you don't love. After a wonderful pregnancy I spontaneously gave birth at 29 weeks. If you don't like something about your life, MAKE A CHANGE. Sex is the leading cause of babies. Group Owners uphold the core values of the brand by reporting content that violates the community guidelines. "Once you cross that line, look for life to get easier in every way. I am at a loss as to what I must do. I do love her a lot as a person but i am not in love with her. It just reads so snobby and lazy. To imagine her saying, "I'm here for you baby." We all need more than the . Whether the mistake were made with or without your intention, it still your mistake anyway. And the same with me. You're a mom now. Do not be with someone you don't want to be with. It was enough for me to be content, while I gave the kids a life that I never had. No we were together 3 months when I got pregnant. I pretended to be. Otherwise, you will lose the child and her altogether. We won't agree with you, if we think you are not right, sorry, girl! . A lot of women are alone while pregnant or with young children and they have a life they can be proud of. 3 Ways to Tell Your Wife You Don't Want Any More Children - wikiHow I was done. Support yourself. It's his car, it's not petty if he keeps it. (5 kg) or more a year after giving birth, Live Science previously reported. SAY IT AGAIN! SCENARIO 3: FORGET ABOUT THE WOMAN YOU LOVE. The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of What to Expect. She needs someone that truly loves her. the guy might turn into a psychopath and malevolent towards the girl.he would also probably turn into a serial cheater and wife beater which is usually what happens. Told me "**** the baby" I was gone for a while after that but went back due to having no where else to go. I tried to keep them happy and not see the fighting. Everything that we do, we have to bear all consequences. Are these issues still there? Personally I think if you both have similar life views (finances, rearing children, religion) then I think you could make this a long lasting beautiful relationship and your child can grow up in a loving home with mom and dad. Noooo you have to marry and then spend the rest of your lives in hell with someone you slept with? Long Story Short, I Don't Love My Pregnant Girlfriend. I Was He's not all bad. Please specify a reason for deleting this reply from the community. A Group Leader is a What to Expect community member who has been selected by our staff to help maintain a positive, supportive tone within a group. I know most of yall are gonna tell me to leave him and I wish it was that easy. Things You'll Wish You'd Known Before Having A Baby - TheList.com I am trying REALLY hard to find some common ground with him, to love him, or even like him but the more time goes on the more miserable I am. At the end of the day, you won't be able to find happiness that you have been looking for. I don't feel 'mum guilt' - and neither should you | Metro News Broken heart is a usual thing but, what is bad is the action that people choose to take to heal the broken heart itself. I was in the same boat. The baby grew in her, she birthed it, she fed it, and she nurtured it every step of the way. well you could say society won because it was able to force a marriage albeit a miserable one. Every toddler boy I've ever met has a destructive streak I am just not into. advice needed h heatha_heatha Posted 2/4/14 My boyfriend and I have only been together since November. It stressed us kids out like you wouldn't believe, all the kids are dysfunctional, serious trust issues. Twins & Multiples: Your Tentative Time Table, Planned c section too presumptuous??? My Husband Doesn't Want Another Kid, so I'm - The Atlantic A year has passed, we have a beautiful little girl that I love with all my heart, but our marriage life is a disaster. Everyone is happier. Having a baby with someone you don't love advice needed Long story short, I don't love my pregnant girlfriend. He just has a side I don't like. I just don't think it's right to bring a child into the world when you can see the end of the relationship. Having a baby by someone I don't even love - Young Moms | Forums Even when you first meet your new child, don't put expectations on how you should feel. I'm curious to find out how it turned out for you. The Preferential Parent. Have you told him you're pregnant yet? Not. She got pregnant 3 months after meeting him. Group Leaders arent expected to spend any additional time in the community, and are not held to a set schedule. In the episode, Homer recounts the story of Maggie's birth when the kids ask why there are no photos of her in the family album. Long story short my ex dumped me. what is de main reason why u do not love her?? Couples do stay together when they are not in love, just for the sake of stability for the child. I need advice too. NO PHYSICAL THINGS. SHE DESERVES A SAYING IN THIS! Why Do Women Marry Men They Don't Love? - Medium I feel like I'm forcing myself to love her. Body after birth: 18 post-pregnancy changes to look out for Man and woman making love in bed. Because, you are not allowing yourself to have a better relationship, at least with your own self. The preferential parent is a parent who loves one child, the " golden child ," but doesn't love the other (or others), a " scapegoat .". Couldn't have said it any better And me too guys. You have to do what you feel is right. I used to . We strive to provide you with a high quality community experience. The Stages of Wanting to Have a Baby, by Age - Cosmopolitan I sacraficed my needs for them. Having A Baby With Someone You Don't Want To Be With, How To Deal With It? Then suddenly she is all happy, and loved up which I find really hard to believe. I love my daughter and i care about my wife but there is no love on my end. All rights reserved. Aim to have a better and best partner that you can have. I have 6 sisters and three brothers. Many of us are (heavily) pregnant and still working. The altnerative is to stay with a woman you don't love and that is a lose-lose all around, even for the kid who will be able to sense his parents don't love each other. You need to be upfront and honest nothing is worse than being lied to when feelings are involved. Can you be responsible enough to make sure you are being safe? Unfortunately it only lasted 4 and half years because he was becoming abusive. Long story short. . Its best to rip the band-aid off now instead of living a miserable life indefinitely. Signs That Your Boyfriend Is Not Over His Baby Mama (21 Sure Signs to I even feel guilty saying this considering how hard other couples are trying to have a child and can't. Your post will be hidden and deleted by moderators. Maybe he doesn't like being used. Yes, her hormones will be out of whack. I completely respect her decision on this. You will need to end an unwanted relationship. Also my ex is unlikely to have children which in her case actually doesn't matter to me. 10 Behaviors Women Show When They're With Their True Love I'm a **** if I lie and say I love her and be with her. Create an account or log in to participate. Single mums by choice; meet the women who decided to have - Stylist Eight women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s spoke to Insider about their decision to be child-free. And both of you surely need to stay in touch. The way you speak to yourself has a lot to do with the way you view your situation. SCENARIO 4: BE TRUTHFUL TO THE PREGNANT GIRLFRIEND AND LET HER ALSO HAVE SAY AS TO WHAT SHE WANTS. New Study: Millennial Women Are Delaying Having Children Due - Forbes At least you know your decision to not hook up with a guy was definitely the right one if he insults you for it. I feel that i have fallen into serious depression and i might seek some professional help. There are days I hate being pregnant and days I could swear I even hate him. Subscribe to Medium for only $5/month & read ALL my sizzling hot stories! Single. You moved into his house, you let him buy you a car and you quit your job because he was financial there. 2. And in some cases, she may want to keep the baby, but you don't. But what do you do in this situation? we had protected sex twice, in December, and I got pregnant. 11 Can't Shake The Baby Blues. 'Baby fever' is a real thing -- and not just in women, study claims She actually is (5 months now), but I took all the words back (the reasons why I didn't want to be with her). Second, if she were to make that decision previously to have an abortion for whatever reason you are not someone whose opinion matters since you're on an Internet forum and you don't know the personal lives of anyone on here enough to dictate that they should never have an abortion. YOU'LL BE STABLE. For more information, please see our She's rambunctious and wild and can make a complete disaster out of any room in 10 seconds flat. Opinions please. Do you think that she would let you be a father if you two were to split? First, she's too far along. 2005-2023Everyday Health, Inc., a Ziff Davis company. FTM. She's too far along to have an abortion.,. THE MOTHER KNOWS THE FATHER DOESNT LOVE HER NOW GUESS WHAT SHE IS ALSO MISARABLE! Either way, I was ready to "play house". Women are doing everything they can to get contraception. Most were married to . NOW WHY IS IT THAT SO MANY OF US HAD MESSED UP CHILDHOOD? Girl sits on her partner, he turning her on the back. Honestly if I wouldn't of gotten pregnant I would not be with him. My girlfriend is pregnant and suddenly i realize that she may not be all i ever wanted. If you don't want to be controlled, don't make yourself 100% dependent on someone. NO BABY no matter what deserves to be killed. This educational content is not medical or diagnostic advice. Regret will always be there when we made a mistake. Find advice, support and good company (and some stuff just for fun). Nobody really knows what to expect when having a baby, but it does change everything, even if you're determined it won't. Some people may view the prospect of that change as scary and they may doubt their parental skills." Op: I don't understand why you quit your job, but find a new one and go stay with family. Unless your girlfriend deems fine that you both do not continue the relationship, by all means. Time to grow up! New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Trust me dude, do whatever you have to to end this A.S.A.P. After a little while, if you still feel the same (i.e. 4. The guy obviously does not love the girl in question yet went ahead and had a baby with her out of wedlock. And you will also need to take a firm decision on what you think is best to be done. Know his concern about the current situation and discuss. I know life would be so much easier if we were together, but I don't know if it's worth it. And if your parents think you guys are in love Then how does that work? You both mature guys so kindly sit her down and explain with vital reasons to her as to why just cant marry her but be sure to do it in a spirit of gentleness less you provoke her and all plans fade cos gals can be crazy at times when provoked. I make significantly more income then her, so I know she will need the child support, which will at least allow me to be in my child's life, but I don't want my child to be exposed to an unhappy marriage. I know quite a few mothers who weren't ready (not that anyone ever is) to have a baby when they did and just grew to resent their child. I guess I'm just looking for someone on the same boat because I really wish I could have someone to talk to. The best alterantive is if you can be amicable and stay friends w/your child's mother and cooperate for the kid's sake, although w/the emotions involved that isn't always possible. The stories of council-flat, benefit scrounger single mums are so far-fetched. I JUST came here to vent not telling people I'm snobby or lazy which I've never been! If you've only been together 3 mos, where did you live before you met? 2005-2023Everyday Health, Inc., a Ziff Davis company. If you'd like to talk more you could Facebook message me my names Logan Downey this is my profile pic but in rainbow. By Kate Spencer Published: Apr 27, 2016 UNIVERSAL PICTURES | LAYNEELU/IMGUR AGE 6 I. When he acts OK with the idea and his first instinct is to be happy, you can be sure it's one of the big signs a man wants to have a baby with you. What Happens If You Don't Have Sex For A Long Time Or Ever? We keep them up because there are a ton of great conversations here and we believe you deserve to see them all. My pregnant girlfriend doesnt seem to want me around. *I also grew up in a home where my parents were unhappy. I agree that love is more a choice than a feeling. I got my, now wife, pregnant but she never loved me, in fact a month before she got pregnant she actually went to spend the night with some dude at a hotel in a different city, but she told me she just wanted to go away for a couple of days. This is it, i went and made my life more complicated than it already was by adding a new factor, a child, to the equation. Be true to yourself and you will allow yourself to get things that you deserve. Cost Of Food At The Plush Restaurant Of Akufo-Addos Daughter Causes Stir Online Video, Richie Mensah Confirms Kuami Eugenes Deal With Empire, Hw3 Nie Okyer3 Bi Watch Epic Moment Joselyn Dumas Stood Inches In Sight Of Her Least Favourite Fan, Be Careful, She Destroyed Moesha And Hajia 4 Real Fella Makafui Warned Over Friendship With Salma, Alan Cash, Kwasi Nyantakyi, Kwasi Appiah, Kurt Okraku And Other Dignitaries Storm Christian Atsus One Week Celebration, This Is Like A Hair Dressing Salon Social Media Trolls Tonardo After Flaunting His Sakatuu Living Room. MUST READ: Is Christmas Bibilical Or Paganism? As a woman, you get insulted for doing it, and you get insulted for not doing it. Suck it up because you didn't do her any favours having to live with you either. Ask Polly: Why Do Women Obsess About Babies and Fertility? - The Cut My boyfriend and I have only been together since November we had protected sex twice, in December, and I got pregnant. Why I'm Having a Baby Without Getting Married First - Insider Girlfriend is pregnant don't know if it's mine. Is it okay for you to feel down all the time thinking about the mistake you did? I love my child-free life. Why do other people have such a problem with it? I'm curious as to how he is selfish?? Sometimes people make choices to abort, adopt, or keep the child. Start off by talking about your family, how you're feeling about work and home in general, and your love for your wife. Anyways, we decided to get marry after finding out that she was pregnant, even though I had my doubts if it was my baby or not. "We are. you are 18 or older, you read and agreed to the. I want to be a great Dad, but I don't want to be miserable for the next 18 years - I don't know what to do. He pays for the stuff bc he can afford too and didn't want me working while pregnant which was fine when everything was good. I just need to vent and I thought this would be a good place to do it. Ive just seen your reply and am unhappoy in my relationship but dont want to end it for the kids sake! You said you quit your job Is that because of the pregnancy? General Baby Shower Wishes And Congratulations. Apply for wic and food stamps and move in with family. Nobody wants probably so you think men should just force themselves to be in love with someone they're not?? People don't know he has a daughter, which tells me he's not proud of her, or truly claiming her in any way. 15 Reasons Some Moms Don't Bond With Their Baby - BabyGaga start communicatin with her without quarrellin give her a try n am sure things gonna work out Or r u afraid u wont be able to sleep around or play ur games wen she step into urlife dear dwag such life n face reality. I got pregnant in September of 2011. But, then again, falling in love is always phenomenal and terrifying. THIS IS THE ENVIROMENT IN THIS SITUATION. It would feel odd. How can you discuss your thoughts with her in a healthy way? If you have the "baby blues" you might not notice the sadness or moodiness right away. Likewise, it's also draining, frustrating, and time-consuming. I do feel sorry for you and the situation you are in. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate with a baby due in July. Last updated on June 9, 2022 by Michelle Devani There are many things that may cause a broken heart. Woman Having A Baby Pictures, Images and Stock Photos I don't need judge mental opinions just ideas and support. cos no parents will watch their daughter to be ignore by a guy whom impregnated her\.. and am not even sure de gurl will accept that U must learn how to love her love grows strongly if u give it a chance.. give that a try ok without causin her much pain. You've been clear with him from the start. Copyright 2017 - 2022 by LoveDevani.com. 'I regret having children' In pushing the boundaries of accepted maternal response, women are challenging an explosive tabooand reframing motherhood in the process By Anne Kingston At first. Having a baby with someone I don't love : r/pregnant Keep reading for our tips and advice, and then give Pregnancy & Fatherhood Solutions a call today at (915) 249-1344 or visit us online to . That's a bummer sadly, the pill can and often does fail, even if its taken 100% properly and on time (and it usually isn't), so you have to be REALLY careful with someone you dont want to reproduce with, as many men have found before you.