"Forget the politicians. Here are some of our favorite George Carlin quotes on politics. Its so fuckin heroic.George Carlin, The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.George Carlin, If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?George Carlin, I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? I dont have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. //]]> They're always people who tell us to live together in harmony and try to love one another: Jesus, Ghandi, Lincoln, John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, John Lennon. You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain. George Carlin, 70.
Best Quotes & Jokes by George Carlin | SComedy Thank you! The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. Save the planet! window.Mobvious.device_type = 'mobile'; "I have a right, you have no right, we have a right." Folks I hate to spoil your fun, but. Its interested in its own power. Laugh until you gasp for breath. George Carlin, 3. They never mention that part to us, do they? George Carlin, 50. Im not sure thats the way to fight discrimination. var gads = document.createElement("script"); (?) We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. Being considered as one of the top comedians of all time,George is well known for his black humor, political views, observations on language, psychology, and religion along with many other taboo subjects. Tell them what you've painted is wet, they have to touch it to believe. It's what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. The people are f***ed. Laugh until you gasp for breath." - George Carlin 3. Its disgusting, man. stylesheet.type = "text/css"; If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. 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He was regarded as an influential and significant comic of all time. What if I want to have a crappy day?George Carlin, Not only do I not know whats going on, I wouldnt know what to do about it if I did.George Carlin, Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.George Carlin, So, have a little fun. George Carlin was posthumously awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2008, after he passed away that year at the age of 71. googletag.pubads().disableInitialLoad(); George Carlin. Well, its Gods will. Thy Will Be Done. Fine, but if its Gods will, and Hes going to do what He wants to anyway, why the fuck bother praying in the first place? Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a fuck about them. " George Carlin Quotes "War will end when people stop showing up for it. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear themusic. Required fields are marked *.
125 Best George Carlin QuotesFunny George Carlin Quotes on Life Because theres no money in that problem. 2. These George Carlin funny quotes on religion, government, and stupid people will make you laugh as well as think about things deeply.
Use your fucking heads! It will be Nikesneakers and Smiley shirts. George Carlin, The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin, By and large, languageis a tool for concealing the truth. George Carlin, Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin, Religion is like a pair of shoesFind one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. George Carlin, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres theself-helpsection? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. George Carlin, If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor. George Carlin, Atheism is a non-prophet organization. George Carlin, How is it possible to have a civil war? George Carlin, When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. George Carlin, I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. George Carlin, 49. "Everyone smiles in the same language." ~ (George Carlin). googletag.pubads().setTargeting("surface", "mw"); The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election. George Carlin, 66.
George Carlin Quotes (Author of Brain Droppings) - Goodreads Quote by George Carlin: "Forget the politicians. The politicians are Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. George Carlin > Quotes (?) They should be more vivid. He was the second onComedy Centrals list of top 10 American comedians in 2004, posthumously awarded theMark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2008, and ranked second in number on the list of the 50 best stand-up comedians of all time by Rolling Stonemagazine in 2017. He had a way of critiquing and making fun of the government without necessarily getting into trouble. They should be more vivid. When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. Theres no present. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. George Carlin, 73. If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. . Laugh until you gasp for breath. Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. It is one that we need to function as a society. George Denis Patrick Carlin was born on May 12, 1937, was an Americanstand-up comedian, actor, social critic, and author. [CDATA[ Life is a zero sum game. George Carlin, 36. I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. Its so f***ing heroic. Its never going to get any better. George Carlin 13. The Grammy-Award-winning star of 14 stand-up comedy specials on HBO, George Carlin was widely considered one of Americans most influential comedians. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, 46. Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. My first rule, I dont believe anything the government tells me And I dont take very seriously the media or the press in this country. George Carlin, 82. If honesty were suddenly introduced into American life, the whole system would collapse. function(a9, a, p, s, t, A, g) { he must of been a brilliant man mostly misunderstood by most people wish i would of met him in person one on one, 51 Best John Muir Quotes On Nature, Mountains, Trees, 50 To Kill A Mockingbird Atticus Quotes With Page Numbers, Happy Birthday Nephew Images With Quotes, Wishes, Messages, Happy Birthday Daughter Images With Quotes, Wishes, Messages, Good Morning Happy Monday Images With Quotes, Wishes, Cute & Romantic Happy Birthday Love Images For Him, Her, Happy Birthday Dog Images With Quotes For Your Puppy, Happy Birthday Niece Images With Wishes, Messages, Quotes, Depression Quotes Images | Feeling Sad Pictures, Wallpaper, Happy Birthday Son Images With Quotes, Wishes, Messages, Happy Birthday Husband Images With Quotes, Wishes, Messages For Hubby, Good Morning Quotes Images To Make Your Day Beautiful. Lets get started! Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. We talk too much,love too seldom, and hate too often. return cookiePair[1]; George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. George Carlin, 42. It will not be with jack-boots. Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days Ive stayed alive. function getCookieWithoutJQuery(name) { This is what we have to offer. Were so self-important. Period. Nobody owns anything. Lists. But he loves you. Yeah, I know, youre thinking. The less said about it the better. George Carlin, 38. Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions. George Carlin, 87. To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesnt need guidance from. George Carlin, 61. Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a f**k about them. Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. George Carlin, 77. Maybe this time itll work. George Carlin, 59. } This is the best we can do folks. Do share your thoughts with us in the comment section and tell us which one was your favoriteGeorge Carlin quotesor if you want to ask any questions or have any query send them viaContact Us. q("i", arguments) George Carlin's full name was George Denis Patrick Carlin. The big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. They own, and control the corporations. All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. George Carlin Philosophy, Real, Lying 192 Copy quote I've set my own rules to live by. George Carlin. Deal with it. There is a mistake in the text of this quote. Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends, George Carlin (2002). That is against their interests. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. Before, all you had to go by were these 14 quotes. Vicious quotes and captions plus a big list of quotations about vicious, xenophobia, and brutal quotes by George Carlin and Francois de la Rochefoucauld. We havent tried that for a while. Seems like a big waste of time to me! But there is an I in independence, individuality and integrity.George Carlin, Some people see the glass half full. Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. It can help you a lot. George Carlin, 8. Witty George Carlin Quotes 1. He made us notice the things we never did before in the form of his humor and this world will forever be grateful for this brilliant mind. It seems only right. If the parent corporation doesn't want you to know something, it won't be on the news. If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten. They all said: 'Try to live together peacefully.' Thats the only thing keeping it and expanding it wherever possible. George Carlin, 57. if (window.csa) { George Carlin 'Political correctness is fascism pretending to be manners.' Quotes are added by the Goodreads community and are not verified by Goodreads. //George Carlin Quotes on Politics - LiveAbout
When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. You have owners. George Carlin, 84. All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another. George Carlin, 69. If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. He loves you and he needs money. Tom, Id like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy. These days, Trajedi. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, It turned out I was pretty good in science. Theres no present. var gptAdSlots = gptAdSlots || []; "I have certain rules I live by. George Carlin "The planet is fine. googletag.pubads().collapseEmptyDivs(true);
Quote by George Carlin: "Political correctness is fascism pretending to Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. You dont. They'll get it all from you sooner or later 'cause they own this f**kin' place. Some people see things that are and ask, Why? The planet is fine. Don't forget to confirm subscription in your email. Well, we know what they want. window.csa("Config", { session: { id: "334-5362882-2183381" }, I think people should be allowed to do what they want. His insights on the world of politics were always keen and often quite funny. I look at war a little.
Best George Carlin quotes on life, religion and politics //Do not believe anything the government tells you - George Carlin I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin, 44. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid." 2. Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. George Carlin, 5. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky. } And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. Period. ' George Carlin, 30. Apparently, were not ready for that! George Carlin, 72. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. Then you live in an old age home. _Q: [] 383 talking about this. Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. George Carlin, 19. They own everything. He was born May 12, 1937, in New York City into an Irish Catholic family, but he rejected the faith. Comedian
Top George Carlin Quotes on Government, Marriage, Love, Life, Religion Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. George Carlin, There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. George Carlin, The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, Honesty may be the best policy, but its important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. George Carlin. "Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it." ~ (George Carlin). Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. But there is an I in independence, individuality, andintegrity. George Carlin, If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin, The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. George Carlin, Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control peoples language with strict codes and rigid rules. George Carlin, 60. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("grsession", "osid.b75ee1b4ab41ae6cecc3e4c769a5b3df"); Never argue with an idiot. Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. " George Carlin 14. var cookies = document.cookie.split('; ');
The 531+ Vicious Quotes Page 5 - QUOTLR George Carlin. url = "https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/mobile/phone_images-9e9093f0cfddba8c2b1e815375d976a3.css"; Beneath George Carlins biting sarcasm and razor-sharp wit lay a heartfelt indignation at the injustices he observed in the world around him. Property is theft.
Quote by George Carlin - SComedy I started this website because I wanted to help people like you to maximize their potential and achieve their dreams. Below youll find the best collection of George Carlin quotes. Trouble is, most of them suck. var ue_t0=window.ue_t0||+new Date(); But again, because of the small budget, in science class we couldnt afford to do experiments in order to prove theories. Keep in mind, the news media are not independent; they are a sort of bulletin board and public relations firm for the ruling class-the people who run things. American 125 George Carlin Quotes 1. My advice: just keep movin straight ahead. var ue_mid = "A1PQBFHBHS6YH1"; if (window.Mobvious === undefined) { Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. George Carlin, 9. He's the subject of a new documentary. We just believed everything. 50 Best John Mulaney Quotes For Every Comedy Fan, 13 Best Writing Tools for Inspired Authors, 30 Of The Best Dale Carnegie Quotes on Having a Great Life, 45+ Enlightening Quotes and Pieces of Advice, Inspirational & Spiritual Quotes From (365) Days of Tumblr, 40 Progressively Inspirational Sevenly.org Quotes, 45 Inspiring Quotations That Will Change The Way You Think #2, 5 Tips To Keep In Mind Before Hiring a Therapist Online, comedy about a singer who pretends to be a nun, friday funny motivational quotes for work, funny quotes about stupidity and ignorance, george carlin don t sweat the small stuff, george carlin on god the planet and the freak show, george carlin sayings that don t make sense, i dont want nobody fucking with me in these streets, positive funny inspirational quotes for work, quotes about getting screwed over at work.